Perspective

There seems to be a consensus that, for many people, 2011....well, it sucked in a lot of ways.  I started the year with great optimism, full of go-gettem' momentum, that was quickly squashed when I realized the new "super-producer" I hired in early January was actually a scheming con man.  That realization and subsequent fall-out had a the effect of sucking air out of a balloon (or my lungs) without the humor of a high-pitched helium tweaked voice.  By March, I found myself asking "Is it 2012 yet?".  Not a good sign.

The rest of this year slipped past us with highs and lows.  A new home, loss of a grandparent, discovery of new talents,  a little dab of viral meningitis.  It's the ebb and flow, right?  Life is not always going to be good and just because something seems bad at any given moment, doesn't mean it should be any other way.  I am chalking 2011 up to being what the Chargers might refer to as a "building year" as opposed to a winning year.  And is that ok?  I am starting to think so now that I am looking at it through my rear view mirror.

I find great irony in the fact that this new shiny year we are all reaching towards is 2012.  We are hanging our optimism on its branches like sparkling ornaments left over from the Christmas tree.  And I think we should. My senior year at the U of A, I took a pre-Colombian art history class that studied the ancient art of the central and south American civilizations.  It was in that class that I first learned of the Mayan calendar and its apparent expiration in the year 2012.  The professor shared that some in modern civilization have interpreted this as a prophecy signaling the end of time for us little human beings.  At the time, I was more concerned about which bar everyone was meeting up at that evening, but I do remember thinking "Whew, at least we have another 13 years to figure this one out." 

So now we are here.  2012, we are knocking on her door and she is about to let us come in.  I have to ask myself what I learned from 2011 before I can become friends with 2012.  I learned that misery loves company.  I learned that trust is not something you give out like someone passing out fliers to a rave.  But on the flip side, it's become clear that it is okay to be honest, and raw, and wrong.  I was reminded that time doesn't care about anyone, but gives of itself endlessly.  As I watched my first born son lay unconscious while a team of doctors explained he had a viral infection in his brain and spinal case, I watched time skitter back and forth from his birth to his funeral to him in the bed to him as a grown man.  I still feel anxious when I think about that night in the hospital.  In some ways, that night was a catalyst to the rest of my life.  I prayed.  I prayed for forgiveness, I prayed for help.  I thought of all of my mistakes.  And then I realized I was not alone.  That was 2011's gift to me.

This year gave me angels.  They have of course always been there, but I reconnected with a beautiful soul from my childhood who actually introduced me to them.  And they are the reason I am so excited about 2012.  We are living in scary human times.  Suffering, poverty, demolition of societal norms, climate change (though I really have to admit the summer-like winter we are having is just delightful), loss of faith, isolation.  I could go on, but we all know where this planet stands.  Like those who believe in the Mayan prophecy, some would argue that we are in the "end times".  But, maybe this isn't as dire as it all seems. 

Perhaps 2012 is the end of what we humans have created in terms of destruction of each other and the earth.  God can wipe the slate clean at will.  But he only has love and hope for us.  Maybe we will do it  to ourselves this year, blow up the whole damn thing.  Or maybe we will, intentionally or simply through circumstance, deconstruct the ugliness we have become.  Maybe 2012 is just a new soulful character who only wants to deal with  honesty.  For those whose existence depends on the detriment of others, you just might want to start looking for a new address on Mars.

I feel good about you, New Year.  2011, you taught me a lot.  Simplicity, I want you to be my new best friend.  Kindness, I hope you become my new next door neighbor.  Love, I hope you become the sun in my sky.  And dear, sweet angels...guide us all into a beautiful new era.  Out with the old and in with the new!!

Happy New Year everyone!!