Things That Baffle Me

I am going to indulge in some Seinfeldian observations for this post, the reason being that I find myself having an internal dialog that frequently starts with some variation of "What the hell...?"  As I look around in the world, I notice there is quite a girthy population of individuals who have a different set of tools with which they are working.  Some have sharp tools.  Others, well, not so much.  And these are the folks who fascinate me the most.  Here are some of my recent observations involving the dullest of butter knives in the silverware drawer:

The Burrito Chucker:  While driving behind a big monster-ish truck last week, I suddenly noticed a large projectile fly out of the driver-side window.  It was partially wrapped in paper and bounced its way to a splattery death.  It was a half-eaten burrito laying naked on the double yellow line.  First of all, it should be a crime to treat a burrito with such disrespect.  But beyond that, I am pretty sure tossing  your garbage out the window while  you are driving is actually a crime.  What is the thought process of that individual throwing the poor burrito?  The birds will eat it?  The street sweeper will suck it up?  No!  It's trash and no one wants yours...find a trashcan, Loser.

The Tray Abandoner:  This is the Burrito Chuckers snobby sister.  She is the one who orders food at a counter restaurant (i.e. McDonalds, Chipotle, Subway).  She eats her food, crumples her napkins, finishes her drink.  And then she bails.  And her tray of remnants sits there for everyone else to enjoy.  Invariably, some lowly employee has to come out and clean up after her.  Now if she were to leave a tip in exchange for someone else cleaning up after her, then I wouldn't have a problem with her.  But you know she never leaves a tip.  So my message to the tray abandoners of the world is unless it's your mama working behind the counter and she still likes to clean up after you...find a trashcan!

The Ignorer:  My new neighborhood is fun and friendly.  However, my last 2 neighborhoods were crawling with Ignorers.  These are the people you pass when taking a walk who would rather stare at the ground, the sky or anything than have to make eye contact with you as you share the sidewalk for 1/2 of a second.  And God forbid they actually have to acknowledge you when you say "Hello".  I have never let this put a damper on my willingness to say hi to people as I pass them.  But as I get older, I have found I really want them to reciprocate.  Give me another 20 years and I may be cruising the 'hood with a bullhorn.  Neighbors will know not to ignore me, lest they be followed by the crazy lady shouting "Hello?  I know you hear me!" behind them.

The Jungle Gym Smoker:  A few years back, while on a family vacation, I took my son to a park to play.  We were in a part of the country where smoking is still prevalent.  Still I was so dumbfounded when I climbed up the jungle gym with Luke only to find the grandmother/mother duo taking a smoke break next to the top of the slide their toddler was about to shoot down.  I wanted to tell the little guy "Go!  That is your escape hatch!  Hit the ground and keep running!".  But he just sat there taking in the trees, the sunshine and the toxic carcinogens from Gma and mama.  I used to smoke.  I'm not passing judgement.  But let's be honest, there aren't too many health benefits to smoking that I am aware of...and on the flip side I have seen some pretty crappy side effects (i.e. lung cancer, coughing up lung butter, smelling like an ashtray).   So, while it is one's choice to smoke (and God bless you if you haven't been able to stop), I'm pretty sure it is not what a child's growing body is craving.  Keep the smoke outside, but maybe just stay off the jungle gym.

So these are just a few of my favorite genres of people.  I have other groups I may touch on in a future post (i.e. Gunboat Grannies, Common Denominators:  people who fail to recognize themselves as the only constant in all of the problems in their lives, and Booty Shorts:  Knowing one's limits.)  Stay tuned!! ;)